A Piaster Pause: The White Noise Tour

Mantra 1 Keep imagery open avoid dense descriptions.
Mantra 2 Poems need a beginning middle and end.
Mantra 3 Review revise, revisit.
Mantra 4 Keep plenty of unblended scotch close by.

Oops, I’m sorry about Mantra 4 somehow my grocery list got on my mantra list. I’m convinced multitasking will be the end of me. Once on my anniversary I gave the Dean lingerie and my significant other a paper on the use of iambic abstractions by the Maori tribe of New Zealand. While I did not get lucky in the bedroom I did get tenure. Who knew he wore a size 10?

Settle in folks while I add to the white noise of poetic babble. If you listen closely and use only your left eye you may discover the anagram hidden in one of the sentences in this paragraph. Meaning often can be obscured by the fact that we love to hear ourselves talk, often that talk creates poetic white noise. Try this Mantra 3 exercise at your leisure. Find the last poem you wrote that you did not like. Reduce each stanza into one single line that sums up the stanza. Now once the poem is reduced compare the reduction to the original. Now without looking at the original rewrite the poem around the reduced line or lines. Is it better or worse? Did the poem’s meaning change? How about you put them both in a post and drop a link in the comment section of this post. We’d love to see and comment on it. We can call it “The White Noise Tour.” You can locate this post at anytime using the U.P. link on the right column. Now I have to get to the store I’m feeling Mantra 4 and that decanter won’t fill itself.

Piaster 002

Previously we talked a wee bit about imagery, and we offered an exercise that required description of a physical act but had a list of words that could not be used. The purpose was to illustrate a way to keep the image open. Open is good, open means the reader can understand and still has room to interpret and wander around a bit inside the poem to make it their own. This is a critical attribute if you want your reader to share the experience. Here is an example: Let’s say I want my protagonist to go down into a cold windowless basement. I could say:

“It was black as night and the damp cold reached into her core.”

Sure that works, but the first problem is we have all read those exact words used that way before. The second problem is the reader can do nothing but observe. Consider:

“Her eyes useless she searched with numb fingertips.”

The second sentence probably brought an image to your mind while the first one did not. The second sentence begs to continue the first not so much. This is what I mean when I say open. With further thought I know you could write a much better line than I did.

Piaster 002

The scene:

A person walks down into a dark cold basement.

Write a free verse poem 25 words minimum begin your poem with your variation of the demonstration line. Be conscious of word choice keep it open for the reader. Remember your poem must have a beginning, middle and end. Avoid cliché and have fun.

For those that did the first Piaster now is a good time to go back to that poem and note how you used imagery. Is it open? If not try rewriting it.

A word about the images we use: They are a kind of extra piaster to help jump-start your work. Do not describe the image but use it as a door, look past it, imagine what happened before and after the image. Don’t let the image influence you. You influence the image.

Post a link to your work in comments. Do support each other and provide feedback to your peers. When commenting, try to say more than you like it. Mention something you specifically like and say why or ask a question. We're not looking for in depth analysis but we are looking for useful feedback as well as encouragement. Have fun.